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“Have you ever killed anything?” The girl hissed to the redhead beside her while still trying to appear interested in Mr Woods lecture on the importance of always being prepared.
“Uh, yeah.” She replied glancing warily out of the corner of her eye at the blonde with a mole just above her right eyebrow.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I was…I was there when Sunnydale…happened.”
“You were?” Vi couldn’t help but feel the bolt of pride that shot through her spine at the awe and wonder in the other girl’s voice.
“Yeah. I was one of the lucky ones. I made it out alive.” Her shoulder’s slumped slightly as she thought of all the other slayers, the girls, she’d grown close to that had die. She let out a shuddered breath.
“Wow, that musta been something.” She said, then seeing the look on the other girl’s face decided to change the subject, “I haven’t seen Mr Giles since the day I arrived. I thought he was meant to be taking the demonology class.” She frowned chewing on the end of her pencil before brightening up. “Do you think we’ll get to train with Buffy this week? I know she doesn’t always take a class, but that would sure be something.”
“Listen, Carrie right?” the girl nodded, “I trained with Buffy. She’s dedicated to her duties; she works hard puts in a lot of work and expects everyone else to do the same. She’s not an idol, she doesn’t want to be. She can fight dirty and if you don’t meet her standards she’ll let you know about it. Believe me.”
“I’m a good fighter.” Carrie said defensively.
“I’m sure you are, but there’s normal good and there’s Buffy good. They’re two completely different levels. Besides, I don’t think she’ll be taking the class this week. There’s important stuff happening right now.”
“You mean this girl that they say has risen from the dead? You were in Sunndydale, do you know her?” Carrie asked, eyes wide and eager.
Vi snorted. “The vengeance demon? Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
Carrie blinked, surprised at the hostility and bitterness evident in the other girl’s voice. “She’s not nice?”
“Sure she is. If you like being told your heading towards your imminent death every hour of the day.” Carrie remained silent and looked down at the open blank copybook in front of her biting her lip. “She lived for over a thousand years, way past the norm for any human. Why should she be the one given a second chance? Why not one of the others? God, some of those girls, Kelly, Amanda, they never even got to finish High School! How is it fair that she gets a second chance and they don’t?”
“I’m sorry.” Carrie whispered.
“Just be glad you weren’t there.” Vi finally met the girl’s clear blue eyes, her own dark and troubled. “It was hell.”
Giles studied the figures before him with some satisfaction. The academy was doing well, and they’d managed to get more money from their backers then they’d thought was possible. They were mostly rich business men seeing an advantage in sponsoring a school with some of the most powerful people alive working and training within it’s walls. They weren’t stupid and it was slightly concerned about what they may expect in return in the future, but for the moment it seemed to going quite smoothly.
The sharp rap made him look up as Robin Wood walked in.
“Am I disturbing you?”
“No no, nothing that can’t wait. Please.” He indicated to the vacant seat in front of his desk and the former principal of Sunnydale High sat down and crossed his legs comfortably.
“I’m glad you’re back at last,” his bitterness was barely restrained and Giles could hardly blame him. The man had been a principal after all; he knew how to run a school properly, was trained in it, whereas Giles was a novice, learning the ropes as he went along. “But I think we may have a problem.”
“Oh?” Giles eyebrows shot up as Robin leaned forward in his chair.
“Yeah. I’ve been noticing some of the girls, mostly those from Sunnydale have been a little…off lately. I think it’s got something to do with Anya.”
“Anya?”
He nodded. “The girls don’t know anything definite. They weren’t told anything about what was happening, why you suddenly weren’t here. You were here every day since the academy started and then suddenly you were gone and didn’t come back. How are they meant to feel, when we won’t even tell them what’s happening?”
“It was for the best. We didn’t know what sort of a state Anya had returned in, we still don’t know for certain.”
“That was then.”
Giles sighed, “You may be right.” He got up out of his chair and looked out of the window, the metal blind creaking in protest as he twisted two fingers between it. He looked down at where some of the girls were training with Faith before turning back to Wood. “But I still don’t think it’s a good idea at present. Maybe when we know more for certain…”
Robin got up. “It’s not good enough. When was anything ever a certainty in Sunnydale? These girls deserve to know the truth Rupert-”
“I’m telling you not a word is to be uttered about this.” He told him warningly.
Wood straightened his eyes glaring. “Fine. For the moment. But I can’t promise how long I can keep quiet. Don’t you think it’s best they know the truth then the crazy rumours that are swimming around? You can’t run away from this, you’ll have to deal with it eventually.”
Giles turned back to the window, sighing as he heard the click of the door closing. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.
Giles lay slumped in the couch, the television guide lying in a head somewhere on the floor as he flicked aimlessly from channel to channel. As usual there seemed to be nothing on.
As usual his thoughts had drifted to Anya. He hadn’t seen her since that morning and although he’d never admit it out loud, he knew he’d been avoiding her purposefully. It had been two weeks since the…incident and still he hadn’t worked up the courage to see her.
In his mind he could still hear her sleepy, quiet voice whispering Xander’s name and he still felt the anger coursing through him. He sat up rigidly and tossed the remote on the nearby table.
It hadn’t taken him long to realise who he was really angry at. And it wasn’t Anya.
One of the first things they’d been taught at the watcher’s academy was *never*, under any circumstances, enter into any sort of relationship with your slayer. It was an abuse of power. Many potentials were taken away from their families and viewed their watchers as mentors, people they looked up to. Often as watcher and potential grew closer it was possible, and likely, that either one or other of them, particularly the young girl, could confuse feelings.
It was a watcher’s responsibility to ensure his charge had the appropriate training and skills necessary, and to guarantee his slayer reached her full potential and lived up to her responsibilities. Nothing more.
Giles had been lucky. True, feelings had developed for Buffy, but not the kind he’d been warned about. The love he felt for Buffy was what he imagined a father would feel for a daughter and in truth she was the closest thing to a daughter he believed he’d ever come to.
Yet he had not followed these same simple rules with Anya. Anya had been vulnerable, he should have known better. Beneath her confident exterior was a confused, often erratic, woman who had for some reason depended on him and trusted him.
He had abused that trust in the most abhorrent way possible and he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself enough to even go see her.
Of course this couldn’t go on forever. Anya was back and it was inevitably they would eventually cross paths, and would probably do so quite regularly.
He couldn’t help but think of what Woods had said to him earlier and he knew he was right. They couldn’t continue like this.
There just seemed to be so many things to do, so many things to organise, running the academy, dealing with Anya and as if that wasn’t enough in a few weeks they were supposed to be holding some sort of evening soiree for the financial backers of the academy.
He knew they needed to do it, they needed to keep them happy and entertain them, but it was *such* a pain and the last thing he could possibly want at this time.
He rubbed his forehead tiredly contemplating the benefits of going to bed early and at least trying to get a good nights sleep when he heard a knock on his door.
Getting up he shuffled towards it and pulled it open smiling at the visitor.
“Hey, mind if I come in?”
“Of course not. Please, come in.”
Willow nodded and waited as Giles closed the door behind him before sitting down on the armchair nearest the sofa.
“So, how are you?”
“I’m fine, fine. And you?”
“Oh you know, peachy.” Her shoulders were drawn up to her head and her hands played out a rhythm on her knees while her eyes roamed the room in apparent interest.
“Willow?”
“Hmm?” She looked back at him innocently.
“Is there any particular reason why you’re in my sitting room looking a schoolgirl about to be expelled for letting all the hamsters out of their cages?”
“Me? No, no I was just wondering how you were. I mean, it’s been sooo long since I’ve seen you really. You haven’t been round to Buffy’s in over a fortnight.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Oh. Busy. I-I get that. I get busy too. Last week I had forty essays to correct for the next day and I’d to figure out what to get Kennedy for her birthday and then figure out where I could hide it where she couldn’t find it, cos she’s a looker. She’ll turn the place upside-down to find a present. I was a busy beaver. Busy, busy…busy.”
“How…interesting.” He replied twisting his lips to prevent them from forming into a full out grin.
“Hey!” She crossed her arms and frowned, leaning back into the chair. “So what’s the reason you haven’t been at the house? Has it got something to do with Anya?” She asked quietly.
He looked up sharply at her and shook his head. “No, I told you. I have things to do, the school can’t run itself you know.”
“Yeah I know. I also know that there’s a very capable ex-principal who could run that place for a year without you if he had to.” She said pointedly then sighed. “She’s been kinda strange lately.”
He looked curiously at her.
“Anya.” She filled in for him.
“Well, it’s to be expected. She was never going to be the same.”
“Yeah I know, but Giles she, she told Dawn she was breaking the seventh commandment when she took one of my pencils without asking. She’s been…short with people.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, more short with them then she’d usually be. I-I think she’s a little unstable and she wasn’t like that when you were there.” Willow looked worried and depressed and Giles took off his glasses, throwing them down on the table.
“What would you have me do Willow? I can’t be there every day, she has to adapt to the world around her.”
“But you’re part of that world Giles. You worked with her everyday for over a year. Besides Xander, you’re probably the only one who knows her really well.”
Giles stood up and looked out the window, not really seeing anything, just looking anywhere but at Willow. “I’m not part of Anya’s world Willow. I don’t think I have been for a long time.”
Willow watched him carefully and when he turned to look at her he found her eyes narrowing dangerously.
“What did you do to her?”
“What?” He turned brusquely away from her and started towards the small kitchen, hoping to avoid her.
However she determinedly got up and followed him.
“Well, ever since she went out with you that night, she won’t hear your name mentioned and then curses you and then apologises for saying such things and it’s all just very confusing and I think it’s your fault. It is isn’t it?”
“I-I didn’t do anything.”
“Liar.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Willow-”
“No. Now, I, I expect to see you around there tomorrow mister to get this all cleared up. Cos, cos this is not nice and Xander’s all depressed as well and there’s just this big depressed atmosphere hanging around which is so not conducive for correcting forty essays due the next day. Okay?” She told him rising turning on her heel and moving towards the door. “I, I’ll see you tomorrow.” She told him firmly before leaving.
Giles stared a little startled at his closed front door.
But perhaps Willow was right; perhaps it was time to face Anya again. People always say the longer you put off something, the harder it is.
Tomorrow his putting off was finished and he had a lightning bolt idea that might just let both him and Anya grow a little closer while keeping her occupied.
His knock was answered by a tired looking Buffy, her smile, although genuine, appeared drained and tired.
“Hey there stranger. Long time no see.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Sure you have.” She turned away and walked down towards the living room while he followed close behind. She was stretching her arms above her head when he saw her wince.
“Buffy?” His tone was stern and brooked no argument. She turned around sighing and rubbed her upper left arm gingerly.
“I went out patrolling last night.”
“Oh?” If she expected him to be surprised she was disappointed. Although she had never gone out before since the destruction of Sunnydale, Giles had known that sooner or later the natural instinct of a slayer would catch up with her. He realised that it was good for her to let out her latent powers and energy somehow.
She grimaced and rolled up the sleeve of her top. Giles winced when he saw the large ugly red gash and the purplish bruised skin surrounding it.
“He had a knife.”
“So I see. Did you go see a doctor?”
“Nah. It’ll be alright in a few days. I just put some antiseptic on it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. So why are you here? Is it a social call or an Anya call?”
“The latter.”
“I hate it when you say English words like that. I never know what you’re really saying. I think she’s in the kitchen. Be careful, she’s angry with you and the kitchen has knives. Large pointy ones, which will make my cut seem like a grazed knee.” She gave him a pointed look and turning quickly around headed towards the kitchen.
He stood for a few moments in silence at the door of the kitchen and saw her sitting on a high stool by the island, her gaze solely focused on the blossoming garden outside the window.
“We used to have a garden, Olaf and me.” She said and he started. He thought she would not have noticed his presence. He used to spend many guilty minutes gazing at her in the shop while she was completely oblivious to it. Then he was reminded she wasn’t the same woman, her strange demonstrations that night had proven that. “It was my garden. I could grow the best vegetables in all the land.” Her voice held a note of pride and she spun around her hair bobbing when she jumped off the stool and moved towards the fridge. “Of course that was before I discovered what a womanising, unfaithful troll he was. Just like every man I’ve ever met.”
“Anya-”
“I thought Xander was different,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “but he wasn’t. He betrayed me, abandoned me. Left me looking like a fool in front of all my friends and his family.” She turned piercing eyes towards him. “You humiliated me.”
Did she think she was the only one to be embarrassed and humiliated? He’d felt sick to his stomach when he’d heard her say his name. He had no right to feel jealous. He had not known and loved her as long as Xander, he still shied away from that ‘love’ word, yet that voice in his head whispered that that was exactly what it was. She had hurt him, perhaps unknowingly, but that did not make it any less real. Instead he said not a word, but tightened his lips and his fists and looked away.
“Why are you here, if not to apologise?”
He almost scoffed at the notion, and then remembering he was here to make amends took a breath and finally met her eye. “I have a proposition for you, something you might be interested in.”
“I doubt it.” She said breezily, grabbing a cloth and wiping down the table top.
“It involves money.”
She paused, then shook her shoulders and turned towards him a mercenary smile on her face.
“I’m listening.”
He couldn’t help but smile. If there was one thing Anya really loved it was money.
“The academy is having a banquet for the financial backers of the school. I’m too busy to prepare for it myself but seeing as you’ve nothing to do…”
“Do I get paid money for it?” Her eyes sparkled and his lips twitched in amusement.
“I may be able to arrange something.”
She grinned then and held out her hand. He took it in his own and she shook it vigorously. “Done.” She nodded smartly and spying Buffy coming through the kitchen door said happily. “Buffy, Giles is going to pay me to have a party! Isn’t that great?!”
“You! Girl with the messy, curly, blonde hair!”
Carrie turned around in surprise to find a exuberant, petite blonde come over to her, “Hello. Can I help you with something?”
“Hi,” she replied, a smile on her face, “can you bring me to your big conference room?”
Carried looked at her warily, “I, I don’t know. Maybe you should go see Mr Giles. I don’t know who you are.”
She sighed and rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry about Giles. He knows I’m here. My name’s Anya,” she held out her hand, impeccably straight and Carrie jumped back a little at the suddenness of the action.
Cautiously, she took Anya’s hand. “My name’s Carrie. So, you’re the one they’ve all been talking about.”
“Well, has anyone else risen from the dead recently?”
Carrie shrugged, “No, not that I know of. The hall’s down this way,” she began to walk down a long corridor, Anya falling in step beside her.
Anya hummed as they went along, her wide eyes darting around to take everything in. Carried glanced at her nervously.
“What was it like?”
Anya focused her gaze on her again, frowning at the younger girl, who bit her lip before continuing in a hesitating voice.
“To die, I mean. Wh-what was it like to die?”
Anya sighed, flicking her hair out of her eyes, “It hurt. A lot. It’s not a lot of fun being sliced in two, you know.”
“I didn’t think it would be.”
“It’s not,” Anya looked at her companion before continuing, “I guess it wasn’t that bad though. I mean, it only lasted a minute, probably not even that…plus I did have the benefit of knowing I’d saved someone else’s life,” she rolled her eyes. “Even if it was Andrew. Dweeb.”
“And after?” Carried asked excitedly, “Heaven, what’s that like.”
Anya pursed her lips as she thought of how best to express herself. “I don’t know how to explain it to you. How do you describe the colour blue to a person who has been blind all their life?” she hesitated as they stopped outside a large wooden door, “Imagine the happiest time of your life, when you were bubbling with happiness and excitement, then multiply it tenfold. But, even that’s not close, cos as well as all that happiness, there’s this…this feeling of peace that settles over you, a sense of true rest and calm.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” her eyes flitted to the door, “so, is this it then?”
“Yeah,” Carrie replied, pushing open the door and stepping inside.
Anya’s nose wrinkled as she took in her surroundings. “It’s dark, and so dated. It won’t do at all,” she huffed.
“Won’t do for what?”
The two women spun around only to come face to face with Robin Wood.
“Oh! Mr Wood,” Carrie stammered, “I, I was just showing Anya the school hall and-”
“You’re late for your English class, Carrie,” he interrupted her.
“Oh, yeah, yeah, I…I better get going.”
“Yes, I think that would be a good idea,” his face was as unreadable as stone and Anya gave Carrie a brief smile as she scurried from the room.
When they were finally alone, Wood advanced on her, the corner of his mouth turning up a little as he approached.
Anya crossed her arms defensively, refusing to move from her position. She would not be intimidated by anyone, let alone this man.
“I was going to say, this was the first time I’ve ever come face to face with a ghost, but then I remembered you’re not a ghost, are you?”
“No. I’m human. Flesh and bone, just like you.”
“Except, I’ve never risen from the dead. And from my experience, people who are dead should stay dead. And any who don’t usually end up causing a lot of trouble and pain to those of us still living.”
“I am living,” she replied, an angry look passing over her face, “I’m not a vampire. I didn’t come back just to suck your blood or anything quite so gruesome and clichéd.”
“The last I heard, you were buried under a pile of rubble in Sunnydale school. You should have stayed there. For someone who claims not to want to cause a lot of trouble, you sure are doing a great job of doing just that,” he advanced on her again, until they were merely inches away from each other, “I don’t know what you’re here Anya, but I think you should leave right now, before I make you leave.”
“Wood!” a loud voice rang out from the entrance to the hall. Anya looked away from the towering ex-principal to the face of the current principal, “that’s quite enough. If anyone will be leaving now, it’s you. Now get out.”
To Be Continued...
© 2004, 2005 Copyright held by the author.
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